Desperate for help, Jessica Lynam was 19 the first time she reached out for domestic abuse support. She was told she would need to relocate to be offered refuge. Wanting to stay in her home city, she ended up staying in the abusive relationship.

“This is why women feel they have no option but to stay with their perpetrator,” she says. “I didn’t feel supported at all. This is why I ended up in another abusive relationship.”

Throughout her 20s, Jessica was abused by two separate partners, and during a particularly dark time, it caused her “try to end” it all.

She reported the abuse both times, and eventually faced one of her perpetrators in court, but to her horror, he received only eight weeks for assault by beating and “blew a kiss” at her from the dock.

Jessica, 30, is now taking control and reclaiming her voice, speaking out against domestic abuse and raising awareness for the subject on social media and at vigils.

She plans to take the stage this International Women’s Day, speaking at Sheffield Women’s Collective’s (SWC) vigil in the Peace Gardens on 8 March to share her story.

As a part of SWC’s three-month campaign to help victims and survivors of domestic abuse by raising money for Sheffield Women’s Aid. Jessica is speaking out about the abuse she suffered and how she feels “the blame is always on the woman”.

She hopes by being using her voice and being open about her own experience Jessica will raise awareness and help other women. 

Her testimony comes at a crucial time. Last year, the new Labour government pledged to halve violence against women and girls (VAWG) within a decade, promising specialist courts and policing and tougher laws to support the 2 million women affected yearly by male violence and abuse.

However, a year on and following the Autumn Budget and the Chancellor’s speech, Labour seems to have stepped back from their initial promises, with no set funding planned, despite VAWG being declared a national emergency.  

“The Labour party does have that desire and motivation to tackle violence against women and girls,” says Hollie Venn, the CEO of Women’s Aid Sheffield. “[But] what we’re not seeing is those words translated into funding and projects”.

She explains funding is essential for tackling domestic abuse as a national emergency, and Women’s Aid have had to “beg and plead for funding for [their] services”. Specialist work has been put into place in some areas, such as in Northumbria where police control rooms have stationed domestic abuse specialists to take calls, but Venn feels it is “disappointing specialist organisations like [Women’s Aid] haven’t been asked to deliver the work,” when they have 50 years of dealing with domestic abuse cases.

It’s not only charities such as Women’s Aid who feel let down by the lack of communication from the government, survivors, including Jessica, have said the fact that the government are not showing any signs of delivering on their promises is “further insult to injury”.

On a local level, grassroots organisations such as SWC are stepping in to amplify victims’ and survivors’ voices as the government fails to show any sign of delivering on their promises. Venn believes groups like these are “essential” to battling violence against women and girls, since Women’s Aid themselves started as a grassroots feminist organisation in the 1970s. 

Amber Millar, one of the founders of SWC, also highlights why grassroots organisations are important. “With volunteer led and not for profit groups, you know that those involved have a personal commitment to the cause,” she says. “With local groups, we can focus on local issues, and help local charities, such as our fundraising efforts for Sheffield Women’s Aid.

“We want to focus on calling it what it is – men’s violence against women and girls. There is no mystery entity committing this abuse. We need to educate young people on what abuse is and how to identify it. We need to have conversations with boys and young men about what is and isn’t healthy behaviour in a relationship, especially when we’re seeing the rise of ‘influencer’s’ like Andrew Tate, and we have a sexual predator as US president.”

Giving women like Jessica a platform to tell her story empowers women’s voices, it removes the perpetrator from her story, and spotlights her own experiences and feelings. 

Venn says this is an integral way to support women, and often it “helps other women recognise what has happened to them”. She explained when women do speak out, “their confidence grows and they feel empowered to own their experience out of pride of being a survivor rather than the shame of being a ‘victim’”.

Jessica plans to continue using her voice to help other women and girls. As well as speaking at SWC’s International Women’s Day vigil next week, she has also recently started her own podcast ‘Conversations That Matter’, which she hosts live on TikTok. She currently has over 1,000 followers and hopes that it will only grow as she continues to speak both on her own lived experiences, and on other crimes against women and girls. 

When asked what she would explain to a woman in the same position she was in at 19, she says: “Be open and honest with your friends and family. If there’s something that’s being held against you, speak on it yourself. Take that power away from your abuser, don’t let them hold that over you. It may be scary to leave and it may be intimidating, you may have to start all over again, but at least you are alive.”