An online disabled sex worker who sells content on Facebook is fighting back against criticism of the industry stating what is exploitative for one person is empowering for another.
Kirby, 29, believes no one has the right to criticise the trade if they haven’t been a sex worker themselves.
They said: “People love to assume that every conversation needs to involve them, but it really doesn’t. You don’t get an opinion on something you have no experience with or education on.
“Every sex worker is a different, individual human being. What is empowering from me, if exploitative for another.”
Kirby, from Hull, initially sold content on Only Fans, and says they love being a sex worker. They believes people hold preconceived notions about sex workers but these beliefs tend to stem from deeply ingrained misogyny and rape culture.
“Many people believe that sex workers have no respect for themselves, that to sell their time means they are selling their bodies and that is disgusting,” they said.
Kirby was keen to point out whether they are doing full service sex work or online, does it for different reasons.
They said: “I am disabled. I do it partly for the money and partly because I enjoy it. I get to dress up and feel sexy. I just want to get by and have fun, while I can, before my health gets worse. “
Kirby has found that sex work has been beneficial for their self confidence, body positivity and even their relationship.
They believe a common misconception is that digital sex work is easy and it is simply being paid to take a couple of naked photos.
But Kirby said: “You need something that sets you apart from the millions of other sex workers. It truly is an incredibly over-saturated market and you need to stand out to be different from the next person and to keep people coming back.”
Online sex workers must also take steps to protect themselves. Kirby explained despite being behind a screen, many sex workers face hate, abuse, and threats, while also dealing with the risks of having their content stolen, reposted, and attracting stalkers.
“I get a lot of nasty comments from men either telling me I am a slut for doing sex work or asking for free content,” Kirby said.
In the past Kirby has received a message on Only Fans from a subscriber alluding to them knowing they were. It was only after exchanging messages Kirby realised that he was a barman from a local pub who they knew.
He asked for custom videos which Kirby filmed straight away but the barman never replied after being asked for payment.
“That was my worst experience because it made me feel so vulnerable,” said Kirby. “I believe he was just mocking me.”
